14 Jul 2006

Fried kway teow without the kway teow

So you think Spielberg directed that recent film you saw in the cinema? Wrong. That woman at the Board of Censors did. Oscars, Golden Globe, Bafta and Academy Awards this way please...



Brilliant. Just brilliant.

"Even Andrew Lloyd Webber cannot re-edit his songs the way you can!"

29 comments:

clyde said...

He hits the nail when his sarcasm turns into a genuine logical critique of who protects the moral well-being of those who have to view the uncensored films... something I've always pondered on.

I'm convinced it's a special "charm".

soci said...

I actually laughed out loud. Not just typing LOL. Great stuff where can we get the rest of it?

Matilah_Singapura said...

Sometimes I wonder... does Lee Kuan Yew and his minions really believe that a govt, can for a long period:

• Regulate what you can see
• Regulate what you can hear
• Regulate what you can say
• Regulate what you can read
• Regulate what you can experience
• Regulate what you can do to your body
• Regulate what your freedom of movement (NS conscripts)
• Regulate what you can own (cars and land)

...please feel free to add to the list.

This video is a threat to The Divine Doctrine Of Lee Kuan Yew's Social Engineering efforts, designed especially to have the perfectly obedient and subdued masses, having absolute trust in the absolute wisdom of the Powered Elite Leadership.

Like Hitler, Lee Kuan Yew believes in eugentics, and like all free individuals, he'e entitled to believe or form an opinion on whatever he likes. No one is however, obligated to agree with him.

This video is also a diret slap to the craggy, but rugged face of Lee Kuan Yew.

That thought made me glow, for an instant...

Anonymous said...

the idea of a small, wise minority making decisions for everyone was older than plato and confucius; it was given a scientific structure by lenin

Anonymous said...

Anyone knows the directions to the "Practice what you preach" department? I'm lost here.

Anonymous said...

Royston tan did the right thing. Not only must one point out the flaws in the system, one must also target those individuals who perpetuate such a system. In this case the dowdy old hag that is caricatured after the policy director and censorship chairman at MDA. Like Bhavani, such high ranking civil servants are accomplices if not worse than the political masters they serve. They must not be allowed to remain faceless and nameless and get away scot free.

Anonymous said...

Point of clarification: Since last year, MDA censorship board NO LONGER CUTS FILMS. Get that into your collective skulls.

Now film distributors decide whether to submit their films uncut, or make their own cuts, and the MDA just approves (or not) what is passed to them.

So sod off since you're so clueless of current affairs, stop muckraking issues that are already dead. This sort of rubbish ranting further demonstrates your site has zero credibility and is merely a soapbox for ignorant ranters.

If you cannot be responsible, if you cannot even bother to do decent research before blogging, you should just close down this site.

malaysian in singapore said...

matilah: here's one more.
Regulate what you THINK.
Rumours from friends in NUS: They don't allow straight-A students into political science and philosophy because they don't want them to "think too much"..? Are they are making those 2 majors less competitive to enter so that every "top student" will more likely consider "prestigious" courses like Law, Science, Engineering, Business...?

Anonymous said...

"If you cannot be responsible, if you cannot even bother to do decent research before blogging, you should just close down this site."

Anon 12.28pm, what prove have you got?

Anonymous said...

http://www.mda.gov.sg/wms.www/devnpolicies.aspx?sid=93

Hello, anonymous who cannot differentiate between prove and proof!

Active censorship by film censors ended late last year.

Film Classification Process

Distributors indicate preferred ratings upon submission. The Board of Film Censors (BFC) assesses if the film is suitable for the requested rating. If not, the BFC will suggest an alternative rating. Distributors may either accept the BFC's recommendation or edit the film to meet the guidelines for their preferred rating.

In the case of controversial films, the BFC will convene as well as consult the Films Consultative Panel before making a decision.
A distributor may appeal BFC decisions to the Films Appeal Committee.

Anonymous said...

though "MDA censorship board NO LONGER CUTS FILMS" but still they can tell "distributors to edit the film" TILL MDA APPROVES - which is just as good as cutting films.

Anon 1.49pm, use your stupid brain to think. Believe you are not that naive. Get that into your petite and brain-dead skull.

Matilah_Singapura said...

malaysian in singapore said: "matilah: here's one more.
Regulate what you THINK.
Rumours from friends in NUS: They don't allow straight-A students into political science and philosophy"


Wonderful! At least the govt still believes in the "importance" of a state-regulated education, where one is supposed to regurgitate what is taught.

I've always believe while institutionalised education has its merits, it fails miserably when it is run by the state more than it does when it is done privately.

State education teaches you. Real education encourages to challenge and question whatever is taught.

No state wants "individual thinkers". Every state would probably like to murder these folks or throw them in jail.

States and the social engineers like "unity" "social conciousness" "obedience" and other fatuous mind-control "scientific" ideas.

Anonymous said...

anon 12.28 was naive; taking things at face value

it is along the same line as "there is no press censorship in singapore; the sph/mediacorp journalist use their own professional judgement to decide that to write", which is true of course, but the "professional judgement" includes what would get them into trouble and what would not, the nobody-is-sure-about OB markers

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:49, if you really think the scissors board have stop censoring films, I am sorry that the scissors board had succeeded in censoring your brain.

Anyway, great clip there. Any info on the original source? :D

StealthEagle said...

I really love the clip...

Extreme censorship is like leaving all the juicy and tasty parts of the burger because they are 'harmful' to our minds.

Watching softporn or actions somehow related to sex makes you a pervert. What a joke... you can find more pornography on the internet than in the films.

Sheesh, we are not dumb to burn our pockets to pay a stupid film with too many cuts. This is why piracy still exists, all thanks to MDA. Oh, don't forget peer-to-peer network.

soci said...

Any info on the original source?

It is from Royston Tan's 'Cut' that he released after the censors had cut his movie.

Anonymous said...

Hi, since 2005 the film classification board no longer decides what cuts to make to films. Which part of that do you not get? They just decide to approve or not films that are submmitted to them. It's in black and white, it's understood by all film distributors and people in the film industry, and I feel very sorry for you if you are ignorant of this fact, you want to continue to be contradicted by people in the film industry who know better than you, and if you still want and desire to be both ignorant and wrong.

Btw, soci, nice blog you keep. You attract more wingnuts and stupid conspiracy theorists than Sammyboymod.

soci said...

Alot of anonymous here. So many you get the impression that they might actually be talking to themselves.

malaysian in singapore said...

Matilah...
'No state wants "individual thinkers" ' is everything against democracy. And that's what the singapore education has taught its students all this while. Singaporeans are taught to be an analogous people, therefore the emphasize against expression of individuality.
Well guess what, one good example which proves individual autonomy works would be America. They can think what they want, individually, and free to do whatever they want, as long as they don't go around harming the well-being of other people. The Church of Satan is fully functioning but they havenn't turned up on the headlines yet, have they?
Propaganda is what the Singaporen government uses to control its people, overtly and openly by brainwashing in quite the literal sense, getting rid of any "dirty" anti-government thoughts.

alexh said...

If you cannot be responsible, if you cannot even bother to do decent research before blogging, you should just close down this site.

Sounds like a government underling we have here. I think it's in their collective genes that they need to close down/put down everything that don't agree with them.

Hi, since 2005 the film classification board no longer decides what cuts to make to films. Which part of that do you not get?

The part where the film classification board decided to cut Royston Tan's Cut. It was released in 2004, dumb fuck! And anyway even if the MDA censorship board's Resident Virgins no longer edit or cut films, they still put pressure on the distributors themselves to do parts they find 'offensive,' or risk a stricter rating and smaller audience. So, this blog post is still valid. My friend of mine does movie trailers for Mediacorp (the ones you see on TV), and - just to name one movie - some of the trailers he did for The Da Vinci Code were cut! What do you have to say to that?

Btw, soci, nice blog you keep. You attract more wingnuts and stupid conspiracy theorists than Sammyboymod.

Yeah I agree. It's a nice blog. And we can't help it if the occasional right-wing nut like you happened to pop by!

Matilah_Singapura said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Matilah_Singapura said...

malaysian in singapore: "Propaganda is what the Singaporen government uses to control its people, overtly and openly by brainwashing in quite the literal sense, getting rid of any "dirty" anti-government thoughts."

Yup, it's definitely down to a fine art who have made central controls and statism an artistic pursuit—full of "creativity" and "wild ideas" applied to real live human beings; the grand experiment in social engineering.

I like artists. They get to fuck with people's minds, and often they're children.

Spectacular!

Hail Satan, Supreme Lord of Darkness. Bring Him your young and innocent!

Capt_Canuck said...

"Sometimes I wonder... does Lee Kuan Yew and his minions really believe that a govt, can for a long period regulate people" shortened from above, but you know what I am refering to.

Let's see, I would say that Lee Kuan Yew has regulated what Singaporeans think, do, see, hear,etc...for nearly 40 years to present with no real obvious change to the difference. So, yes, I would say that not only does Lee and minions think he can do it, but he obviously can.

As for the whole discussion of the film board editing/cutting movies. Talk about power. I mean, anyone can pull a gun out and shoot someone themselves, but to actually be able to convince those people to pull out their own guns and shoot themselves? THAT is power, my friends. Pure, undiluted, POWER. (for the anonymous that might not get the metaphoric issue here, instead of the censorship board editing peoples movies anymore, the board makes the people who make the movies edit it themselves so the board doesn't have a bad reputation.)

Anonymous said...

Interesting blog, i cant sleep without getting a daily dose of Bloodyspore. The fact remains: we know our gov has alot of skeleton hidden in its closet. But then, who is intelligent and brave enuff to uncover all those hidden corpses?

Anonymous said...

plentry of small skeletons, but digging them up itself is no use; reaching audience in a convincing manner requires skill and resources; job of the auditor general is to dig up some of these, and his report does get circulated, with approval of upstairs

Matilah_Singapura said...

Folks, one thing which has been overlooked: the spontaneous order of a market

Markets arise because of consumer demand, which is why prohibition by govt in the face of consumer demand to the contrary always fails.

The demand for uncut films is going to stay higher than the demand for ENFORCED thought police actions by the Absolute Moralists in govt and their supporters—those haters of free speech and expression.

Therefore by cutting or banning films, the govt gives the PIRATES a free kick.

Thus legitimate owners of property—i.e. the filmakers are denied legitimate earnings from their property.

Just another example on how govts spoil legitimate commercial ventures and give the underworld an advantage.

The same thing occurs when the govt overtaxes tobacco or bans drugs... the underworld takes care of demand, and thus a criminal class breeds.

malaysian in singapore said...

Aye, Matilah. Visited your blog a while ago. Pretty neat blog.
And you're right about the observations you made.
Censorship in Singapore indeed gives rise to piracy. Johorian vendors even have websites that offer free shipping to Singaporean addresses. They can only be that brazen if the market, like you say, because of "consumer demand".

malaysian in singapore said...

last sentence should've read:
They can only be that brazen if the market, like you say, arose because of consumer demand.

Anonymous said...

Just heard the most zmazing lie from MDA amy chua, she siad that she only made 9 cuts to 15, the rest is made by the director himself....simply amazing! the govt actually employed ppl with our tax payer's money to those who can't even lie.... sign..

by the way chance upon royston-tan.blogspot.com, done by a fan i think.

Send that boy some encouragment, heard tat after mr brown, he is gonna be next to eb clammed down!!!!!!!!