25 Feb 2006

Integrated Queeresorts

This is a duplicate article of the one posted in blog.sayoni.com

What would happen if our beloved government one day decided to legalise gay marriage? Pleinelune, the resident satirist, takes a hike through her imaginatio
n.

In 20 years, we would have exhausted every hub possibility we can think of: life science lah, tourism lah, arts lah… we are losing our edge! There is nothing we are “superior” to other countries in! Our economy is in grave danger!

Then, someone would suggest that we legalise gay marriage. We can be the new gay Hub in Asia! Which would bring in lots of money in tourism, as clearly, gay people are rich brats rolling around in money, just waiting to blow it on their wedding.

Which would of course, cause a huge hue and cry. There would be a heated parliamentary debate about this. The liberals would keep stressing how much money we would gain, how many jobs it would create… and the conservatives would respond with how gay marriages are going to destabilise society and bring in “undesirable” elements. It would cause an erosion of morals!

Then the debate embroils the whole country. People are discussing it everywhere: online discussion boards, schools, at the water-coolers… it is a hot topic! Stickers would be created which go “Gay? No!”. The country is essentially divided on the issue.

Then, just at the convenient time, a scandal would erupt, concerning someone on the death row, diverting everyone’s attention, during which, the final proposals for legalising gay marriage would be submitted to the parliament. After taking a not-so-random poll, the government would declare that majority of the country is okay with it, and having considered the benefits, it was going to go ahead and build not one, but TWO Registries of Marriage exclusively for gay people, complete with saunas, pubs and clubs. They would not be called gay marriage bureaus, but Integrated Queeresorts.

Over the next few months, several articles would appear in the newspaper about how much benefit the Integrated Queeresorts (IQ) would be to the economy. Then the government would announce several “preventive measures” to stop ordinary citizens from falling prey to the evils of gay marriage. For example, queer citizens would have to pay $100 extra for the services provided at the IQ. Also, people would be advised to report their relatives to the IQ, if they suspect that they are addicted to homosexuality, so that the IQ can refuse them entry. “Inspiring” articles would appear in the newspaper about people who recovered from their addiction to homosexuality. The IQ is for rich ang mohs: ordinary citizens better get married to a person of the opposite sex.

And don’t forget, make exactly 2.1 babies.

10 comments:

clyde said...

I can TOTALLY see it now, pleinelune. Except I think conservative right-winged politicians would just be going on and on about how gay 'gay marriages' are.

But if casinos are possible, then anything is possible. Though I think making that .1 baby is gonna be a real b--ch.

start internet business said...

Thanks for your insights......

Steve @
http://www.lifeincome.org

rench00 said...

farfetched but hilariously good. i like the satire in the post. but i don't think it'll ever come down to that...

Anonymous said...

he is talking about a general phenomenon of "economic ghetto", in which foreign investors start businesses that use foreign expertise to provide for the needs of foreign customers; the operation is situated in country X, but may have limited operatational links with the people and other parts of the economy of country X

pleinelune said...

That made no sense, but ok. Btw, I am a "she".

Clyde, yes, making 0.1 babies is going to be rather difficult, but that means you only pay 0.1 of the cost in raising a full child! Maybe the Singapore government can find a way to do that too. :P

rench00 said...

quite easy actually... 10 families come together and draw lots. the one who drew the 'lucky' lot has 3 children while every other family have 2 children. but these 10 families all help to support all the 21 children born... so effectively, each of the 10 couples will be having 2.1 babies...

anonymous kind of made sense... or perhaps i'm deluding myself into thinking that i'm smarter than i actually am... haha...

clyde said...

Hahaha...yes Rench. That's right. We'll solve this through TEAMWORK! That's the singaporean spirit. Each family can parent the kid (let's called him 0.1. it sounds original and relevant to the Internet Age) for a month each. And to make sure he/she is raised in the multi-cultural environment that sg is, each family should be of a unique ethnicity. In January he/she'd eat with knife and fork, in Feb he/she'd eat with chopsticks and in March he/she could be eating with his/her bare hands!

What a blast that childhood would be......I wonder.

pleinelune said...

Funnily enough, in my more crazy moments, I had the exact same idea as Rench. Haha... [great minds think like? ;) ]

That's what we should all go and propose to the gahmen! Raising a child as a team! [insert maniacal laughter here]

rench00 said...

actually that idea is not new... remember Plato's Republic, Huxley's Brave New World, Hitler's Lebensborn?

Anonymous said...

I think it is "Lebenstraum".